The stunning fashion statement Jason’s coworker used to make on a daily basis. You’re free to steal this technique, if you so dare
Could this possibly be the last Last Show? You’ll find out.
The shocking reason why there is no mailbag this episode
A tribute to the late great Richard Lewis -Why you should write a book, no matter who you are or what you do?
Is Leap Year Lunar? Or something else? Lunar?
The difference in different thread/yarn based activities and what BriBo’s -wife is making that will be soon be available to listeners
The price of fabric and what it takes to make a pair of PJs
Diet and exercise secrets that are easy to implement and have the potential to change your life
The Aha Moment that took 3 years for Jason to realize -How BriBo averaged 27000 steps a day (yes, you read that right) and the impact on his health
The condiment you can find that is completely delicious and completely salt free
One important reason you may consider quitting coffee
Why hypochondriacs need to know before they get a calcium score
The only book you need to read to quit smoking
How to turn any meal, no matter how close to dirt it tastes, into the greatest meal you’ll ever eat
If you had to eat one kind of bread for the rest of your life, this is the Blue Zone approved bread and here is the one place to buy possibly the greatest bread on the planet (and did we mention Blue Zone approved)
The greatest life tip BriBo has ever imparted on the show and he can give it to you in two words (these two words confused Jason for a little bit but once he understood the wisdom of them, he was knocked over)
Thoughts on the Wonka debacle and why it needed more prep then a haunted house setup by high schoolers -The one thing that is never spread by humans, but should be – scientists take note please ….and believe it or not, much much more listening enjoyment
OJ Simpson is dead. But I have a feeling this story isn’t ready to die just yet.
It is kind of hard to believe, in part because he’s been part of the cultural fabric (for better or worse) for the last 30 years.
At the time, every late night personality piled on with jokes ad nauseum. There have been books, movies, documentaries and still more jokes.
The whole affair is like an episode of Columbo where you know the murderer in the first few minutes of the show, but you still hop on the roller coaster ride and here we are 30 years later.
And now, maybe it’s time to get off the ride.
I remember exactly where I was when the lo-speed chase was happening. I was on my way out the door to ride my bike to the movie theater and saw the slow motion chase broadcast live on TV. I wish I knew what movie we’d gone to see (I could probably figure it out if I looked up what movies were out that day in time) EDIT TO ADD: It was probably either Speed or City Slickers 2…..
Fast forward out of the rad 90s and pretty much everyone on planet earth and beyond thinks OJ Simpson killed two innocent people oh so many bike rides to the movies ago.
In the years since, OJ certainly didn’t appear to be hunting down the “real” killer or killers. Why not? Well because maybe he already knew. Instead he moved to Florida so the Goldman’s couldn’t collect their civil litigation monies and played golf. A lot of golf. Florida turns out to be a great place for a retired murderer to live out their bloody sunset years.
Controversy still followed, OJ did time in jail for kidnapping due to some weird situation over collectibles in a hotel room. A book called If I Did It was written by OJ but published by the Goldman family with details about the murder that may have beeb fictional or maybe real. Who knows. Unless you were there, you wouldn’t know for sure. We can only take best guesses and have opinions.
Usually, I like to have the door wide open. I think a story is always better, will resonate longer and generally turns into a kind of larger-than-life mythology when you can’t know for sure. Kind of like most real life if you think about it, and I could rap on and on (and have) about that very topic, why it’s important, why you should always be aware of what you know for sure and how that can inform and make life better.
But I guygress.
Somewhere along the way, in the last decade or so, a new theory emerged that alleges OJ Simpson’s son Jason (not me) was actually the one who killed Ron and Nicole. The theory goes on to allege that OJ was simply there to cover-up for his son’s actions.
I have no idea if this is true or even warranted, you know the whole no one knows most things for sure approach. But private investigator who wrote a book all about this, William C. Dear gives several arguments in favor of this theory and is in fact the one who came up with the whole thing. The son had a knife that could have been similar to the murder weapon, had anger issues (charges had been previously brought against him), possibly an unreliable alibi, and the list goes on. If you’re interested, go look it up. There is a book, reddit threads, the list goes on and on.
One interesting tidbit that might make you think is, Jason was the first person to “lawyer-up” right after the murders. Then OJ got a lawyer – did OJ make a decision at the time to take the heat, assume his celebrity, etc. would better help him get away with it? Or as some people drone, the prosecution wanted to go after OJ from the get-go and ignored any evidence to the contrary. Besides, in this theory, OJ is at the scene so there is evidence tying him to the crime, he just wasn’t the murderer.
Again, this is all alleged and I have no idea if there is any merit to the so-called evidence against his son. But if it ever turned out to be true, that would really be a tragic movie-like twist ending, turning the villain OJ into a martyr who went down in flames protecting his son. Who knows what ends a parent would go to in protecting their kids, even if they did something horrifically wrong.
There is a reason people love a show called Unsolved Mysteries and not Solved Mysteries. The “unsolved” part keeps the door wide open. As long as it’s unsolved or there is some uncertainty (and since most of the time we weren’t at the scene observing firsthand so we will never know in our hearts for sure what happened) there is room for debate, investigation and wonder. Take ghosts, UFOs, aliens, Jack the Ripper, The Zodiac Killer and on and on. We love those stories because no one knows for sure. Once we do (or think we do), that door shuts and a little bit of the magic of that story dies.
Knowing is the death of amazement. We are stuck in a strange kind of relationship. Wanting the mystery and amazement of a good story but we also know that knowing things helps us to navigate and survive the world. So for a minute, I really wished OJ would have left a deathbed confession. Or even better, a Tik Tok video.
Hey guys, OJ here. I did it. Check out the book of the same title for the deets. The foursome behind us is getting mad we’re not moving. Ok, I’ll check you later.
I can see that picture clearly. A starter named Carmen rolls up in a golf cart and asks him to put his phone away and move along.
Finally, we can all have the closure we secretly need for survival, going from 98% sure to 100% sure and closing that door forever.
Except…after thinking about it for another minute (I only ever think about things in minute increments), if OJ left a deathbed confession or in this case a final-foursome-fession Tik Tok video, I don’t actually think the door would slam shut.
I think an OJ confession would actually open the door even wider. Swing the door of its hinges till it goes flying off into space.
If OJ really did it, a deathbed confession would be an appropriate thing to do.
But, and this is a big and alleged buttocks, if he didn’t do it, if this turned out to be a tragic story of a fathers love, if he was protecting someone and wanted to take the heat off them forever in a final tragic act of love:
WHY I’M SITTING OUT THE ECLIPSE Everyone is fully hyped about the eclipse today.
Everyone except for yours truly.
I’m sitting this one out.
Been there, burned out my irises and came back to talk about it.
Let me explain.
Like many of you, I was jazzed the last time the great eclipse show came into town. I was out there with the rest of the jabronis in the parking lot at work, peering up at the heavens. Someone handed me a sheet, some kind of film, and I looked up, saw a very non-exciting circle with part of it shaded it and the rest of it blazing bright.
In hindsight, it might’ve been Saran Wrap I was looking through.
My eyes began hurting immediately. In my head, I could hear a voice of a news person saying “whatever you do, make sure you are looking through approved filter to view the eclipse.”
There is no way the person who handed me the sheet made sure the sheet was NASA approved. They could barely do their job.
The thought of this made my eyes hurt even more. Like a deep soreness I’d never felt before. It’s possible I did permanent damage to my eyes. And for what? Was I a better person after watching the eclipse with my own two eyes? No, I was still a mostly horrible human being.
Then I read about a rapper, an up and coming rapper who stared at the eclipse with no protection, and did permanent damage to his eyes. And my eye pain went up a few notches quickly. I was going to be blind soon.
And all of this because I didn’t stop to make sure the filter was a NASA approved space safety sheet of plastic.
The panic reminded me of a time when someone I worked with offered to take me up in a plane. He was training to be a flight instructor. I was younger and dumb. The same dumb I was when watching the last eclipse.
I remember getting up to cruising altitude and not feeling safe or stable. The window was open and there was a screen between me and the earth. And the pilot, I remember thinking this guy can’t even space out his appetizers to come out before people’s entrees, why did I trust him with my life.
I have not been in a small plane since. But it was that same panic that set in.
But I guygress.
I went to my optometrist. He examined my eyes. And he gave me the bad news.
“Your eyes are fine. You’re just nuts.”
He went on to say they had been talking and trying to figure out how long it would take someone to stare at the eclipse and do permanent damage. I think he had estimated at least a few minutes. But still, any kind of exposure could be potentially blinding.
When I was just a kid, my mom and I watched out our kitchen window and saw Haley’s Comet. It won’t be back for another 72 years and I remember crying that my Mom might not be around when it comes back. But you know what, if I hadn’t seen Haley’s Comet, my life would be no different. Regardless of whether I saw that really rare cosmic event, no change in my life. It wasn’t even that spectacular, it was just a ball of white light in the sky. To be honest, I’m. not even convinced what we saw was even Haley’s Comet and not a cloud. But at least we weren’t sacrificing our sight to watch it.
The idea of possibly hurting your eyes to watch something that isn’t even that interesting in the first place is bonkers. Don’t do it. Don’t be another sheep, flocking to the bright flame of cultural vapidity. Regardless of whether you look at the eclipse through Government Issued and Approved glasses or some NASA gamma ray tested filter, trust me, you will still be the same old horrible person you were before.
I’d always heard about a village of little people houses somewhere in New Jersey.
Late at night we’d drive around and try to find the community of extra small houses.
We were disappointed by the neighborhood near Annie’s Grave. The houses were not small small.
One time we found a very small house in a normal sized neighborhood of houses down by toward the shore. Someone explained it was a small house built for someone’s granddaughter. It was cool but not exactly what we were looking for.
But still we’d hear rumors. There is a village of tiny houses near the George Washington Bridge. Or Ringling Brothers has a small community of little houses in Jefferson down a dirt road.
Eventually, life got busy and our weird NJ Adventures came to an end.
Until.
About 10 years ago, I was at work and somehow the topic came up. A woman I worked with had actually been to the village by the GW Bridge. We went on Google Maps and she pointed her finger on my screen to the exact location. I couldn’t believe it.
The next day after work I aimed my GPS towards the spot. It was a small community of normal size houses but smallish roads. I slowly drove up and down each road looking for the legendary community.
I was just about to give up when I saw it. A very small house that looked like it might be about to be demolished. Is this the last of the little houses near the GW Bridge?
You can see the difference in size between this house and the house behind it. I have no idea if it was demolished or is still there….if anyone knows would love to hear.
The search for the Jefferson village continues, I believe that is where the famous Weird NJ b&w photo of the man standing in the doorway comes from. I have a pretty good idea where it is but it seems like it’s private property. If anyone has any info would love to hear it…..and the adventure continues.
My daughter did not feel like getting her socks and shoes in for school.
I told her, part of growing up is doing things you don’t feel like.
She’s 3 and a half.
Me, I’m a lot older. I only just realized this thing about doing what you don’t feel like doing.
I guess you could call me the opposite of an early adopter.
I followed up with telling my daughter, you should be more like your Dad. Cause pretty much everything I do these days I don’t feel like doing.
That’s right, I missed my calling as some kind of holy man who just sits around all day, absorbed into some fancy sofa. That’s what holy people do right? Just hang out on furniture being holy.
I actually love just sitting. Not thinking or doing anything. Just relaxing. It’s one of my favorite things in the world.
But I guygress.
Lately, I’ve embraced the feeling of not wanting to do something. Actually, I read somewhere recently that it’s a good idea to do things only when you don’t feel like it. You start to train yourself to become insanely productive because the feeling that used to stop you then becomes associated with doing stuff rather than evaporating into the couch.
It’s gotten to the point where I look forward to the feeling of not wanting to do something. To like when things feel difficult.
Because difficult is good. It’s so much better than easy.
Easy makes you soft and weak.
Comfort is best after a long, ass busting day of hard work.
In fact, relaxing feels way better after you’ve busted your ass all day. Relaxing after you sat on your ass all day is kind of meh.
Trust me, I know firsthand.
So take the hard way, the uphill, the hard thing. It’s so much more fulfilling. And it makes the opposite thing feel so much better.
I started walking every day. I started with two miles.
I’m so out of shape, and a recent bout of Covid set me back even farther.
It was 9:30 at night and I didn’t feel like doing it.
What’s cool about being an adult and not a 3 and half year old is sometimes I don’t have to do something if I don’t feel like it.
Instead of bailing, I put some sweats on, my noise reducing headphones and tried to convince myself that after a little bit, I’d actually enjoy the walk.
Any kind of lie to get me out the door.
And sure enough, as I was rounding the 2 mile mark, me-of-little-motivation felt so good, I kept going.
I went for another two miles.
If it wasn’t 10:30 at night, I probably would’ve kept going. For how long, I have no idea. Probably at least another two miles.
At one point, I felt so euphoric, I closed my eyes. The primary sensation was the music in my headphones.
It felt like everything disappeared and I was just a field of energy moving down the street. I felt like I completely disappeared. The entire world, all the stress, the past and the future all melted away as I effortlessly strolled down the street, eyes closed.
It was like absorbing into a treadmill.
I love it. I love walking. It’s so almost immediately feel good, I’m mad I didn’t start doing it every day sooner.
My only gripe is it’s not anymore as hard to get started. It’s getting too easy. So maybe somehow soon I’ll need to start increasing the mileage, speed or something else to get that edge back. Make myself uncomfortable. Make myself not want to do it so that I want to do it.
If you want more ideas that will put you into the effortless flow state like this, push your foot down on this link before you stroll down the street.
I don’t know if this is helpful, but here is how I look at it. If you have two candidates you need to decide who to vote for, there is only one way to decide.
It works almost every time.
You pretend you have to interview both of them for a job.
The person you would hire is the person who gets your vote.
Makes the whole process a little more manageable. Instead of picking someone based completely on how you feel (that will always be a factor), you’re now using criteria that is tangible.
The problem of course becomes, what if you wouldn’t hire either jabroni?
Yeah, if you wouldn’t hire either one, then this won’t help you. If you find yourself downloading ZipRecruiter after the last interview, then this tip isn’t going to work.
The biggest question then becomes, where are all the good people? Why aren’t they one of the options.
And maybe you realize, you’re the one for the job. After all, if you want something done right, sometimes you gotta roll up your sleeves and do it yourself.
I read about this in an old book but never used it. Then one day a long time ago, when I was still just a kid, I drove my parent’s car into the side of a white brick building.
The car was 3 days old. The bumper crumpled like foil.
I had no idea who or how to get it fixed. Do I tell my parents? Did I damage the house?
I was instantly filled with anxiety, almost paralyzed by it.
Then, for the hell of it, I decided to try the technique I had read about.
Essentially, the idea is this: when you think about something you represent it in your mind using pictures and feelings.
If you make those pictures big, loud and in 4K then you amplify the signal. You can make the good stuff 10x better and also the bad stuff feel really bad.
On the other hand, if you shrink the image, blot out the colors, push it all out into outer space until you can’t see it anymore, you can reduce the signal or effect it has on your nervous system.
To break it down more: when good things happen, make the pictures big, turn up the volume, crank up the good feelings. Step into the picture and really feeeeeeel it.
Yeah, it works. But don’t take my word for it, just do it and see.
So for the bad things, you make the picture smaller, you can even pretend there is a small knob that you can turn and the bad feelings go all the waaaay down. Twist the button to the left and see if that doesn’t mute the volume.
Yeah, it works. But you have to try it.
And so on that fateful day, as I was pulling my crashed car out of the wall and deciding what to do next, I started shrinking down the image of the whole scene. I wiped all the colors out of it so it was like an old timey black and white silent movie.
Then I drop-kicked it into another galaxy.
And I felt better. Instantly.
But don’t take my word for it. Try it and see.
And then I thought of a good thing, and I stepped into it, made it super big and felt all the good feelings. Then I turned it up even more. Till so felt so good so could barely handle it.
From there, I was able to handle the situation without freaking out. Cool, calm, collected.
I was just a kid when this happened. But I’ve been using it ever since.
In fact, I used it so much that now it’s pretty much automatic. From all the reps, it just happens in the background mostly.
So when something not so great happens, this program runs on auto and processes it. The pictures are minimized and I can step in and handle what needs to be handled. Instead of being gripped by anxiety or fear, I can just do what’s next.
And when something good happens, it automatically gets amped up, the good feelings spinning, the picture big and bright and almost sparkling in high definition. Everything bright and buzzy.
It’s a great little trick.
This is the book I learned it from. It’s got some other interesting ideas, but for me this was the best one.
BriBo and Jason are back in the studio for the latest episode of The Last Show available for instant listening pleasure on the Tube of You.
We’re peeling back the curtain and showing a behind-the-scenes, double-sized edition of The Last Show. Filled to the brim with laughs, news and unsolicited life advice to get you through your day. And life.
For this show, you’ll get a chance to watch how the sauce-sage gets made, before music and graphics are plopped into the show and see how a show really gets made.
In this episode:
The stunning fashion statement Jason’s coworker used to make on a daily basis. You’re free to steal this technique, if you so dare
Could this possibly be the last Last Show? You’ll find out.
The shocking reason why there is no mailbag this episode
A tribute to the late great Richard Lewis
Why you should write a book, no matter who you are or what you do?
Is Leap Year Lunar? Or something else? Lunar?
The difference in different thread/yarn based activities and what BriBo’s wife is making that will be soon be available to listeners
The price of fabric and what it takes to make a pair of PJs
Diet and exercise secrets that are easy to implement and have the potential to change your life
The Aha Moment that took 3 years for Jason to realize
How BriBo averaged 27000 steps a day (yes, you read that right) and the impact on his health
The condiment you can find that is completely delicious and completely salt free
One important reason you may consider quitting coffee
Why hypochondriacs need to know before they get a calcium score
The only book you need to read to quit smoking
How to turn any meal, no matter how close to dirt it tastes, into the greatest meal you’ll ever eat
If you had to eat one kind of bread for the rest of your life, this is the Blue Zone approved bread and here is the one place to buy possibly the greatest bread on the planet (and did we mention Blue Zone approved)
The greatest life tip BriBo has ever imparted on the show and he can give it to you in two words (these two words confused Jason for a little bit but once he understood the wisdom of them, he was knocked over)
Thoughts on the Wonka debacle and why it needed more prep then a haunted house setup by high schoolers
The one thing that is never spread by humans, but should be – scientists take note please
….and believe it or not, much much more listening enjoyment
A few weeks ago, someone who shall remain nameless, went to Florida and got Covid.
This anonymous and wonderful human then gave me Covid.
I was really sick. And in the fever dream of my sickness, when my wife asked what was wrong, dripping with sweat, I gasped out:
I have The Florida Flu.
My wife smiled and said, “Pretty good, did you come up with that?”
I did, but I figured such an iconic phrase had been uttered before somewhere in the universe.
Turns out, it seems I was wrong. Which can only mean one thing.
I, Jason Messina, am the creator of the term The Florida Flu.
A Google search does not reveal any results and proves me right.
Sure, getting really high on cocaine seems to be have been called The South Florida Flu. But isn’t that something different all together?
Methinks so.
Now the coining of a famous, iconic and much beloved phrase puts me in good company. In fact, while I was in the midst of finding out that I was indeed the coiner of such a term, in the back of my mind I was thinking about the late, legendary and great Richard Lewis. And how he coined the term “The <Blank> From Hell.”
My wife and I love Richard Lewis. I’ve liked him for decades, always enjoying his manic comedy on late night talks shows and in standup. It wasn’t really till seeing him on Curb Your Enthusiasm that the like turned to love. He seemed like the kind of guy you want to go to lunch with and have a raucous time.
Bickering. Bantering. We love all of it. It’s in our collective DNA.
The last episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that we saw (not the actual last one) has Richard tell Larry that he has put Larry into his will. Larry doesn’t want any part of it and tells Richard that he knows what he’s up to. He just wants Larry to now put him in his will. Then they argue over who is going to die first. Larry sadly, turns out to be right and the premonition turns out to come true only a few weeks later.
I usually don’t feel much sadness when a celebrity I don’t know dies. I mean, how could I? It’s literally someone I don’t know. But I felt like I knew Richard. That is clearly delusional and also completely understandable. He had a way about him that seemed relatable, especially in contrast to Larry David’s superhuman curmudgeon-ness.
And
I don’t remember exactly when it was. Maybe during the early seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I went to the library and took out Richard Lewis books. My memory is hazy. But I remember clearly my motivation for taking the books out. I had heard a bit about Richard’s creative process and wanted to find out more.
Did you know that Richard would go up on stage with notebooks full of material. A very prolific writer and creator. And he would use that material to launch off into improvised material.
So it was this glorious mad mixture of prepared material and freshly-in-the-moment generated material. You don’t know how much I love this approach. It’s literally how I live my life. With a few scraps of paper, some ideas scribbled down and a faith that I’ll find a gulfstream to keep my afloat.
Richard Lewis inspired me to take that approach to life.
I don’t remember much else about those books. There were two of them and I scoured them for notes and ideas on process. I vaguely remember him being influenced by Jimi Hendrix, which I found to be weird and unexpected and inspiring all at the same time.
My memory will be refreshed soon. On the day I found out he died, I ordered both books on Amazon and they are on their way.
Yeah, I’ll also go back and rewatch the CYE episodes with Richard in the near future, his legacy lives on there. But there is something magical about leaving beyond books with your ideas. Those are ideas that can live on when you’re gone and impact people for who knows how long. You never know when something you said will spark something in someone. You never know who that someone will be.
And one more thing
Richard Lewis is cited in the Yale Book of Quotations as inventing the term.
That is amazing. I thought the humor of the situation was in him trying to take credit for such a ubiquitous phrase. It’s way funnier that he actually did come up with it AND it is now so ubiquitous that most people don’t know the origin AND are like me and thought he was just claiming it as a goof.
<The author of this article is now Google-ing “How do I submit “The Florida Flu” to The Yale Book of Quotations>
To learn more state-of-the-art ubiquitous phrases straight from the horse’s mouth, punch the link below:
